
We've been living in the past far too long, it's time to embrace the future.
We've been reading about the upcoming Xbox 720 and PlayStation 4 ("Orbis") and are totally psyched about the radical transformation they will bring to gaming.
These exciting new consoles will finally address the biggest problems that have plagued video games since the Atari 2600:
- Ending the fleecing of honest game publishers like Electronics Arts by dropping support for used games. Every time you buy a five year-old version of Madden football for $1 you force them to make another developer work unpaid overtime.
- Requiring an online account to play offline games fights piracy. Given Microsoft and Sony's outstanding records on security you have no reason to fear giving them your personal information.
- No backwards compatibility, no problem. Any game over 2 years old is stale anyway.
- Finally eliminating all the lame button pressing in favor of motion controls and touchscreen. Say goodbye to "Nintendo thumb" forever.
- Who has room for all those bulky game cartridges? Downloading all your games onto proprietary media formats is a perfectly economical solution.
So effective immediately we're re-branding ourselves as "The Orbis 720 League". Each week we'll be covering the latest news on these new consoles.
We'll also be going explicit to appeal to a younger audience that expects constant hardcore profanity.
We know this will come as a disappointment to some of our listeners but we ask that learn all you can about these new systems and we just know you'll feel the same way we do!
Update (4/2): Yes, this was an April Fool's prank, thanks for playing along.